Ted who?

First it was the gazillion dollar bridge to nowhere.  That was stupid and arrogant but legal.  Now it’s a few house renovations and a couple of trinkets that Senator Stevens forgot to declare on a federally mandated disclosure form.  That’s fraud.  Obviously the amount of money isn’t the issue.

Ted says that his wife was responsible for supervising the renovations that doubled the size of his Alaskan home and that, as a U.S. Senator, he couldn’t be bothered with such trivialities while trying to build a bridge that went nowhere.  The trinkets included, among other things, a $2,695 massage chair, a stained-glass window and a blue-eyed sled dog named Keely.  Ted says that he tried to get the gift givers to take back the trinkets but couldn’t make it happen.  The Federal prosecutor’s eyes rolled back in his head when he suggested that one of the most powerful people in the U.S. Senate ought to at least be able to commandeer a U-Haul.

Ted’s got a week left to convince his Alaskan constituents that he wuz robbed.  That he deserves to retain his Senate seat and that he loves them.  Tough job for an 84 year old guy whose only friend at the moment seems to be Keely.

Senate rules say that even a convicted felon deserves to occupy a seat in that austere chamber.  Until an ethics committee deems otherwise, Ted can sit in his chair and build bridges.  Of course, if the judge sends Ted to the hoosegow, that’s another matter.

The wolves are already circling.  Both the other Old Guy and the Snow Queen said today “off with his head.”  Don’t wait for an appeal.  Ted must go.  It’s for the best they said.  It’s only right, they said.  The Old Guy…

I hope that my colleagues in the Senate will be spurred by these events to redouble their efforts to end this kind of corruption once and for all.

Right…when pigs with lipstick fly.  And that makes it three for three for the Old Guy.  To get elected, he first  disses the Dictator in Chief and all the policies that he supported ninety percent of the time.  Second, he claims to be a maverick who doesn’t even know the names of his fellow Republicans…in fairness, that could be due to his advancing age.  Now he writes off the other Old Guy.  What’s next, send the Snow Queen packing?

Not to be outdone by her supposed running mate, the Snow Queen said…

I had hoped Senator Stevens would take the opportunity to do the statesman-like thing and erase the cloud that is covering his Senate seat.

Look who’s talking about clouds.  Obviously, abusing one’s power as Governor apparently doesn’t rise to the same level as giving blue-eyed Keely a home and not reporting it on a Federal form.  But maybe the Snow Queen has discovered the error of her ways and is inflicting appropriate self-punishment by refusing to continue to dress in the duds bought with money contributed to the RNC by Joe the Plumber.

But there is a possible bright side to all this.  For Keely’s sake, Ted could be pardoned by the Dictator in Chief.

 

P.S.  Even though Keely may not be able to vote, my very good friend Bert asked me to tell you to get your fanny down to the polling place…by way of this YouTube Video

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