If life was that simple

It was hot last week.  Let’s go to the Casitas water park.

I thought Isaac and Bella would get a kick out of it.  Checked it out.  “Closed except on weekends”, the kind voice at the other end of line said.  What now?  An eleven and a thirteen year old stuck with two old folks on the outskirts of the Ojai metropolis with nothing to do but fight over access to the computer.

Call the Athletic Club, I thought.  “Thirteen bucks and you can use all the facilities for the day…except for the tennis courts”, she said.  “You mean it includes the pool”, careful me said.  “Sure thing.”

Wait a minute.  Shed and June have a pool.  “Hi Shed.  I’ve got these two kids who would rather be somewhere else…like your pool.”  Not a moment’s hesitation.  “Get ’em over here.  Somebody has got to use that money pit.  I’ll even throw in free drinks and anything else you can find in the fridge.”

Put on my fancy, fifteen year old, macho bathing trunks.  The ones that make me look hunky.  At least that’s what Sweetie says.

Up we went.  Hot, hot, hot.  Brought my camera and the new 50mm lens.  Dangerous around water but what the hell.  Kids jumped in the pool.  I took off the lens cap, sat on the edge and shot pics of cute kids.

Put away the camera and jumped in the pool.  I love other people’s pools.  Sort of like going out on other people’s boats.  Who cares if they leak?  Sat around, smiled at the kids and thought how lucky I am.  An hour flew by.  Kids were fashionably waterlogged.  Time to go.

Home again.  Put the camera away.  Where’s the lens cap?  Must be in the pocket of my trunks.  Nope.  Under the car seat?  Nope.  Back up to Shed’s.  Not there either.  Lens caps are like elephants.  They end up in a mysterious graveyard never to be seen again.

For those among you who only have one lens, you probably think one lens cap fits all.  Not so.  There are as many different lens caps as there are stars in the galaxy.  And just as hard to find.  Time to Google one.

B&H in New York is my favorite photo equipment supplier.  Not this time.  No replacement cap.  Maybe there’s one on Amazon.  Sure enough.  Nine bucks plus six bucks shipping.  Wait, how about E-bay?

Look there’s one from some guy named Atnexthk.  A regular household name.  $2.79 including shipping.  How can that be?  I was sure that Atnexthk would run away with my $2.79, sell my credit card number to some Zimbabwean and I’d never see the lens cap.

But, being the greedy bastard that I am, how could I pass up the deal?  Click.  Off the order went.  Probably to the son of Idi Amin.

Five days later a funny looking four by six inch brown envelope arrived.  By Air Mail, it said.  A customs declaration stuck to the back of it.  Return address:  Ka Yue Mak, Cheung Sha Wan Road, KLN, Hong Kong.  I was sure there would be a note in it …Too bad, sucka.

A lens cap.  Nice and black.  It fit.

$2.79 including postage from Hong Kong.

Why can’t health care reform be so simple?


3 Responses to “If life was that simple”

  1. 1 robert September 13, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    if only i could find a way to fit myself in a 4X6 envelope i could finally take that trip to hong kong…and for $2.79 i wouldnt even have to take a slow boat


  2. 2 Shed September 13, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    You forgot to mention my uncanny resemblance to Sylvester Stallone. Next time you come I’ll war bathing trucks so the similarity will become more obvious.


  3. 3 David September 22, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    That really was a lot of fun swimming. Thanks again Shed.

    I wish my parents could afford a pool.


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