Olympia Snowe is my new hero. Even if she is a Republican. What a lady. Looks like a normal human being. Unpretentious, might even be a great Peace Corps candidate. Or run a coffee shop like Java and Joe. Bet she drives other Senate Finance Committee Republicans like Chuck Grassley and Jon Kyl up the wall.
You remember Senator Kyl, the second highest ranking Republican in the Senate. A paragon of equal rights, his Phoenix office was besieged on October 6 by hordes of women who highlighted his sexist attitudes. Like the comment he made about maternity coverage during a Finance Committee discussion. “I don’t need maternity care.” To which Senator Debbie Stabenow responded “Maybe not, but your mother probably did.”
And you know Chuck Grassley. He’s the guy who warned folks attending one of his August town hall meetings that the government would “pull the plug on grandma.”
On Monday Chuck and Olympia were sharing a bagel in the Senate dining room and talking about the upcoming vote on the Committee’s health care reform proposal. It was a serious discussion as evidenced by Chuck’s picking up the tab for the bagel…including double cream cheese.
Chuck: Ya know, Oly, you gotta stick with us on this one. We’re depending on you. We’re all gonna blow it off and sink the Obama ship of state.
Oly: But Chuck, we gotta do something to fix this health care mess. How long can we ignore the public?
Chuck: Ignore? Why, after I told them granny was dead on arrival, and Jon promised them a million Mexicans crossing the border for liposuction, that bill is a goner.
Oly: But Chuck, you know none of that is true.
Chuck: That’s politics.
Oly: But Chuck, how long can we keep being in hock to the insurance companies and the druggies? Surely, we’ve milked that one for all it’s worth.
Chuck: Wait til you see the report that the insurance guys bought from Price Waterhouse. It says that everyone’s premiums will double because they have to cover those deadbeats who don’t have their overpriced insurance.
Oly: But, Chuck, what does Price Waterhouse know about health care? And didn’t the Congressional Budget Office say the bill would actually reduce the cost of care?
Chuck: Everyone trusts Price Waterhouse. They do that Oscars crap. Nobody knows or trusts the CBO guys. They all look like Mr. Peepers.
Oly: But Chuck, won’t everybody realize that if the insurance guys say they can’t hack it without doubling everyone’s premiums, that we might as well jump right into a single payor system that really can control costs?
Chuck: Are you kidding? If they’ll believe the story about granny and the Mexicans, they’ll never figure this one out. At least not until I’m on full pension with terrific health benefits.
Oly: But Chuck, I was always taught to be honest and do what’s in the best interests of the country and my constituents.
Chuck: Seems pretty restrictive.
Oly: Well Chuck. This has been really informative. I think I know what to do.
Chuck: Atta girl, Oly. We knew we could count on you.
Oly: Thanks for the bagel. By the way, you shoulda let me pay for my half.
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