Obama Gives In…Willing to Negotiate

News Flash…Obama willing to negotiate.

NBC News reported this morning that President Obama is willing to negotiate both the government shutdown and the federal debt limit.  In a concession speech delivered at the national headquarters of the Tea Party, Obama admitted that his grievous error in allowing Harry Reid to push him to the fiscal cliff and his own wrong-headed intransigence to come to the negotiating table have brought us to a near collapse of the country’s fiscal system and the impoverishment of millions.

He graciously apologized to the leaders of the Tea Party who, he admitted, had been right all the time about the need to cut government spending and substantially reduce the tax burden on millionaires who, he said, were the true patriots of this country toiling day and night to create jobs while foregoing their own personal needs.  He also asked for the forgiveness of  the American public for the havoc, job loss and increased mortality rates that he had wreaked on the nation because of his single-minded insistence that the Affordable Care Act be implemented.

“It’s no longer a case of who’s right and who’s wrong.  It’s abundantly clear that we Democrats took the wrong road and we deserve the blame.” he said.

Obama pointed to John Boehner and the Republican led congress as a shining example of doing things the right way as they continually offered time and again to work with him and the Democrat led senate but were mindlessly rejected by Harry Reid and other left-wing zealots.  He praised the way Speaker Boehner had carefully selected those particular budget items that the Speaker believed were the most essential ones to get this country back on track.

Obama particularly cited the Smithsonian National Zoo Panda Cam as a shining example of urgently needed funds.  He agreed with Speaker Boehner that America indeed has a god given right to relentlessly observe every moment of panda antics.  The President specifically praised New Gingrich for his generous offer to fund the Panda Cam while deliberations over food stamps, immigration and education took a back seat.

To get things rolling President Obama agreed to repeal, not just delay,  the Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare.  As an added incentive to begin negotiations forthwith, he proposed the elimination of all federal subsidies for Medicaid which would effectively shut down that mindless, corrupt, debilitating program in all fifty states and, in the bargain, save three trillion dollars over the next hundred years.

Finally, and as a sign of good faith and willingness to quickly reopen the government without the selective, cumbersome, convoluted multitude of self-serving budget amendments proposed by the Republican House of Representatives, he proposed the immediate enrollment of all 350 million U.S. citizens in the federal Medicare program.

President Obama closed his presentation by expressing his heartfelt thanks to Speaker Boehner, majority whip Eric Cantor and Senators Mitch McConnell and Ron Paul for their patience and fortitude in leading us from the abyss created by his own misguided ignorance and obstinacy.  The President also expressed a special thanks and undying admiration to Senator Ted Cruz for his thoughtful insights and words that were largely accountable for resolving the predicament that we had faced, and designing a clear, equitable pathway to lasting resolution.

Contacted by NBC following Mr. Obama’s remarks, Speaker Boehner said  “What a guy.  Let’s move ahead.”

obama gives up

7 Responses to “Obama Gives In…Willing to Negotiate”


  1. 1 leo October 6, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    Editorial writing at the highest level fredila.

    Like

  2. 2 Maureen C October 6, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    I see you and Orson Welles have something in common…..just don’t scare too many people with your editorial!

    Like

  3. 3 Myrna Cambianica October 6, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    you have to be kidding??? satire at its highest level … or at least i hope so

    Like

  4. 4 Phil Caruthers October 6, 2013 at 2:41 pm

    I hope the Tea Party doesn’t start quoting you! Irony might be beyond their comprehension.

    Like

  5. 6 art vander October 6, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    You have outdone yourself! Art

    Like

  6. 7 leila October 6, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    Horror movies aside, this was the worst until I read a bit further and realized you were letting out your frustrations.
    Has anyone approached you about compiling a book?
    love ya

    Like


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