Posts Tagged 'Sotomayor'

Who me? Biased? Damn right.

So Jeff Beauregard Sessions, senator from the great state that’s a model for unbiased, let the chips fall where they may, equal opportunity says…You know Sonia, it’s really important that judges keep an open mind when it comes to applying the law.  You can’t let your upbringing, skin color or gender influence you.

I stare at the TV,  look around the hearing room, remember George Wallace, and try to imagine what’s going on in the minds of those sharing the spotlight with the senator from Alabama.

Sonia…You know Jeff, you’re a real jerk.  If you think that I’m not going to let my upbringing influence me, then you’re dumber than I think you are.  And if you’re doing this for the benefit of your constituents, then they should have found someone more credible than you, like Strom Thurmond.  Ooops, sorry.  He’s dead, isn’t he?

Jeff…If it was up to me I’d never let a woman on this court.  Especially one whose mother comes from a place where their only claim to fame is Roberto Clemente.  In fact, even though that Uncle Tom votes the way Scalia tells him, I’d kick his black ass off the court too.

Pat Leahy…Hey dip-shit.  You haven’t got a China-man’s chance of railroading this nomination.  If you want to make it sound like you’ve never heard of lynchings, segregated toilets, and Rosa Parks, go ahead.  And quit combing your hair over.

Sonia…Yes, you bet I meant it…in spades.  A Latina would make better decisions than old white guys whose only exposure to folks like me was when they asked “how much to clean my house…that much?”

Jeff…As soon as we kick Obama’s ass back to where he came from, we’ll get some real good nominees in this room.  Put here by our leader, the Snow Queen.  Folks who don’t make the law, but only follow orders.  Like Eichman and Mengele.

Pat…Must be getting close to lunch.  Won’t this guy ever shut up?  Doesn’t he know we got sixty votes?

Sonia…And another thing, white boy.  Those New Jersey firefighters.  One lousy vote by the Supremes and it would have gone in my favor.  And you’d be sitting here with your thumb up your fanny wondering what hit you.

Jeff…Wish I was in the land of cotton.

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