Posts Tagged 'Yom Kippur'

Time to Forgive

It’s hot and Rosh Hashanah starts Wednesday.  Figures.

Ever since I was a kid, people would say “don’t worry, it’s always hot for the holidays.”  I believed them.  I thought it was some kind of cruel punishment in addition to the retribution promised us in the synagogue.  And then a few years ago I checked the weather records and found that it wasn’t always hot for the holidays.  I told folks about it.  To no avail.  Their minds were made up.

We spend a lot of time on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur asking forgiveness.  Forgiveness for deceitful acts, wanton lust, greed, lack of charity, fear of strangers…it’s an all-inclusive list.  You name it, we got it.

There are those, like me, who journey to the synagogue but once, maybe twice a year.  There are many more who plan to go but find a reason to stay away.  And then there are others who say “duh, what day is today?”   So after much thought and as my first charitable act of the Jewish new year, I’ve decided to do it for them.

For John Boehner…please forgive him for that glorious tan while the less fortunate have to live in the dark corners of our world.

For Mitch McConnell…please forgive him for standing in the way of just about everything while waiting for his turn in the spotlight.

For Charlie Rangel…please forgive him for thinking he could get away with it.

For Sarah Palin…please forgive her for making a mockery of the political process in her pursuit of wealth.

For Meg Whitman…please forgive her for spending a hundred million dollars on a run for an office that nobody really wants, while at the same time turning right, left and center depending on the way the wind blows.

For Jan Brewer…please forgive her for lying about beheadings, the crime rate and the appearance of sea monsters in downtown Phoenix, and using those lies to agitate an already confused electorate.

For Glenn Beck…please forgive him for using his considerable dramatic skills to first alienate everyone to the left of Ghengis Kahn and then, courtesy of  a holy revelation, proclaim that this country’s salvation can come only through God.

For Newt Gingrich…please forgive him for demonizing Muslims in pursuit of his political agenda.

For Michele Bachmann…please forgive her…where do I begin?

For Antonin Scalia…please forgive him for believing that his fundamentalist view of the Constitution relieves him from being compassionate.

For Hamid Karzai…please forgive him for skilfully playing the United States for the suckers we are.

For Tony Blair…please forgive him for publishing a book.

For George Bush…please forgive him for a war we didn’t need, spending like a drunken sailor, setting science back a decade or two, and laying in the weeds while other ex-presidents contribute their not inconsiderable talents.

For Barack Obama…please forgive him for thinking that he could bring civil discourse back to an ever polarizing political process, settling for second best, and forgetting what made him so attractive to us.

For Lou Piniella…who thought he could bring the Cubs into contention and broke my heart trying.

And for those who’ll throw the current bums out in November in the hope of something better…I forgive you.


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